You’d think everyone would have a better grasp on sex and desire, especially considering the important roles these two things play in our lives.
When you were younger, you probably believed a handful of humorous and strange things about sex — like the notion that you could lose your virginity if you inserted a tampon, or that masturbation causes blindness and hair to grow on your hands. Or that you can’t get pregnant while you’re breastfeeding your baby. Or (our favorite), that sex, as it’s portrayed on television and in the movies, actually imitates real life sex. As you grow older, you realize that the majority of these kinds of sex myths aren’t true and you can’t be fooled nearly as easily.
Still there are a few women who’re still fairly misinformed about sex. Whether it’s how to get the most pleasure out of their love lives or how to stay healthy and safe in the bedroom, there seems to be a bit of hearsay being mistaken as fact.
Ready to test your sex IQ?
Myth #1: After a certain age, sex is no longer important. For adults of all ages, even those in their golden years, sex is actually an important aspect of both emotional and physical well-being. You’re never too old to enjoy pleasure. Some people believe that a decrease in sexual desire is simply a natural part of aging, but lacking libido is related to a number of other factors, including depression, communication barriers, hormone deficiencies, or loss of spouse or partner.
Myth #2: Your partner is intimidated by your vibrator. This is totally bogus. According to a recent Indiana University study, 41 percent of women have used a toy with their lover. ”Many men find vibration pleasurable on their penis and other body parts,” says Debby Herbenick, Ph.D., a research scientist at Indiana University and author of Because It Feels Good.
Selecting a new toy should be just as exciting as using it. Need some tips? Lea Caughlan from The Rubber Rose, a sexuality boutique in San Diego, California, can give you some insight aboutchoosing the sexiest and safest bedroom playthings.
Myth #3: Watching porn is a “guy” thing. Despite the widely held belief, a lot of women really like porn. It’s true. We women are way more sexually curious than we get credit for. According to Nielsen NetRatings, a third of all visitors to adult sites are female. And they are often into some really kinky things. A study done by Northwestern University says that guys mostly get turned on by porn that’s the same as their own sexual orientation, while girls tend to like all kinds of porn, including gay, lesbian, heterosexual and bisexual.
Myth #4: You can’t get pregnant when you’re on your period. This couldn’t be further from the truth. ”You can get pregnant at any stage of your menstrual cycle—even on the day you expect your period to start,” says Sherman Silber, M.D., director of the Infertility Center in St. Louis. Since sperm is capable of living inside the body for up to a week, if you were to have sex during your period and then ovulate shortly after, it’s highly likely you could still get preggers.
Myth #5: Size matters. Just because a guy doesn’t have a big penis doesn’t mean you’re going to miss out on mind blowing sex. Size isn’t everything. Even if your man isn’t packing the heat the rest of your girlfriends are raving about, he’ll most likely still be able to rock your world. For example, being big in size won’t help him reach your (very real) G-spot. Actually, it could be quite painful if your cervix is continually hit during sex. Woman-on-top positions are great if you want to control the depth of his stroke. Try reverse cowgirl.
If he is lacking in length, try to stick to positions that keep your bodies close together. For a little extra clitoral stimulation, wrap your legs around him.
Myth #6: Once you have a baby, your sex life is over. This could be both true and false. Although having a vaginal birth will change you down there, having sex is so much more than purely physical stimulation. If you’re lacking intimacy, there’s obviously going to be issues, but just because you have a baby doesn’t mean your sex life is doomed. Many experts agree that doing Kegel exercises to strengthen your vagina works wonders.
Myth #7: Chocolate makes you horny. Chocolate is not only delicious, but it also contains two chemicals that trigger feelings of sexual arousal and love: (a building block of a brain hormone that puts you in the mood) and phenylethylamine (a natural neuromodulator that stimulates positive feelings, often similar to the feeling of falling in love). But don’t let that fool you. Although chocolate has been known to be an aphrodisiac, like oysters, its qualities are purely psychological.
Myth #8: Testosterone only influences a man’s sex drive. While testosterone is commonly associated with men and their sex drives, like estrogen, it actually affects both sexes. Testosterone levels tend to be highest in women each month during ovulation. It has been shown to increase interest in masturbation but not sex with a partner. There’s a time and place for everything.
Myth #9: Condoms make sex less enjoyable. As long as you’re aroused and excited, sex with a condom is as pleasurable as it is without.
Myth #10: Guys want women with hot bodies. Women want men with money and status. A Northwestern University study found that women choose men with higher status when considering an ideal partner, but changed their tunes when evaluating an actual person.
